Gay/lesbian cruise

Gay and lesbian travelers face the same planning decisions as other cruise vacationers how do I choose the right cruise? Which cruise line, ship, destination, time of year, etc., will allow me to have the best possible cruise vacation for my travel dollar? In addition who will be my traveling companions? However, after those tough decisions are made, gay cruisers have to also choose between all-gay cruises, a gay tour, or just booking a cruise that will be a primarily straight environment. There are pros and cons of all three choices. The best thing to do is "do your research" well, and then have a great cruise!

Would you be more comfortable surrounded by other gay cruisers? Going with a gay group allows gay travelers the opportunity to "be themselves." (Note that the same issue applies to all cruise goers. If you go on a cruise with primarily American travelers and then go on shore excursions with those same cruisers, you don't have to worry about blending in with the locals. Personally, I'm not sure that is good, but some like more of the comfort of the known versus the excitement of the unknown in traveling.) The issue of comfort and atmosphere is probably the primary reason gay travelers choose an all-gay cruise or a gay tour. Are you looking for new friends or romance? Many GLBT cruisers claim to have developed long term friendships while on an all-gay cruise or gay tour. Opportunities for romance are probably also higher with a gay tour group. Finally, often your traveling companions on a gay cruise will tend to be younger. So, if a "cruise nightmare" for you would be to be surrounded by middle-aged married couples or senior citizens, then you might want to book a gay cruise tour or all-gay cruise.

Alternatively, would you want more diversity? Some gay cruisers want to be surrounded by a potpourri of other travelers. For many of us, gay or straight, vacation is a time to mix with other cultures and life styles. You will also probably have more choices of cruise ships, dates, and price ranges than if you restrict your cruise options to an all-gay trip. The more flexible and open you are in your cruise plans, the more bargains you will find. If price is your number one factor in choosing a cruise, you may have to sacrifice location or time of year if you also want an all gay tour.

There are gay tour companies that put together packages for gay cruisers. Some of these will "take over" the ship for an all gay trip. This is especially true on small ships or sail boats. Other times, especially on the mega-liners with two thousand or more passengers, the gay tour will just be a part of the regular cruise, with parties and socials scheduled for the group. Gay tour companies seek out "gay friendly" cruise ships. Some of these companies have been quite successful and have lots of repeat guests.

For the ever-growing number of gays and lesbians who have taken or are planning to take a cruise, a voyage on the high seas equals freedom. Freedom, that is, from the drudgery of everyday routines (where else can you order room service every day, lounge aimlessly by the pool, energetically participate in trivia contests and silly games, bid on art, or challenge your wine tasting skills?).

But a cruise is something else, too an opportunity for folks to be who they are and just relax among increasingly tolerant and non-judgmental fellow passengers. While gays and lesbians are welcome aboard any cruise ship today, they face a bewildering number of options (and questions) when choosing in which direction to point their cruising compass. In fact, they're the only segment of the population that really does need to make the choice between two distinct and different cruising options geared toward their needs: either joining a regular mainstream ship operated by lines such as Celebrity Cruises or Regent Seven Seas Cruises, or becoming part of the fabulous party life aboard an all-gay charter from companies like Atlantis, R.S.V.P. and Olivia.

Before we plunge headfirst into the plethora of "pink" cruising choices, here are some nifty tips to help you plan your next shipboard adventure, no matter what your gay or lesbian lifestyle is:

Most cruise lines covet the influential gay cruising dollar, and some are known for being particularly gay-friendly. If you're a newbie cruiser who wants to get a comprehensive taste of the good life onboard a typical ship, you probably won't go wrong by choosing from the cruise lines included on this list.

Many cruise lines hold regular "Friends of Dorothy" (FOD) meetings that provide a fun social event and networking for their gay and lesbian guests. But these meetings are held at the cruise director's discretion, and can range from raucous to sparsely attended. Also keep in mind that many ships that don't hold these meetings can be just as gay-friendly as those that do.

Outward signs of homophobia are rare onboard ships today, as your fellow passengers will be in the same partying, relaxed mood as you. In fact, many gay passengers report making fast friends with their heterosexual counterparts, especially bonding in the showroom and casino! The staffs of most ships (generally European or Asian) have usually received some gay sensitivity training, and therefore, won't blink an eye when two men ask for their twin beds to be put together! I will say, however, that holding hands or kissing in public might be looked upon warily, just as in most places in America today.

A somewhat important factor for gays and lesbians to consider when choosing a ship is the roster of ports on their particular itinerary. Some, such as Grand Cayman, Jamaica and Turkey, have been reported to be less than gay-friendly, with a small but documented number of homophobic incidents on shore (such as all-gay charters being made to feel unwelcome by protests, or even being refused the right to dock as in the case of an Atlantis cruise to Grand Cayman). Obviously, the passengers on all-gay charters "scream out" their homosexuality more than the male-male or female-female couples who just blend into the fabric of mainstream ships. But in any port it's important to respect the local customs.

The all-gay charter companies (the largest and most popular being Atlantis and R.S.V.P for gay men, and Olivia for lesbians) offer a completely accepting environment, with intense bonding, nightly dance parties, gay-geared entertainment (campy comedians like Kathy Griffin or Broadway divas like Patti LuPone), and overwhelmingly gay-friendly ports. But this fabulous environment generally costs 20 percent or more than the same itinerary on a regular cruise, a "gay surcharge" many loyal fans of these cruises are more than willing to pay.

Between an all-gay charter and just signing up for whatever cruise tickles your fancy is the option of joining a gay affinity group, organized by travel agencies like Ocean Voyager or Pied Piper Travel. You'll be traveling on a regularly scheduled cruise with a large contingent of other gay and lesbian folks, and have the option of special group amenities like private dinner rooms, cocktail parties, shore excursions, etc., for generally the same discounted price as everyone else onboard.

Balancing the expectations and interests of the majority (straight passengers) and the minority (gay passengers) can be a challenge for the cruise lines at times. The lines that are most successful at attracting and re-attracting gay and lesbian passengers know that a small portion of their heterosexual guests may feel uncomfortable with outwards displays of gay affection, and that some of their more low-key gay guests may want to remain in the closet during the voyage. Focusing on offering the best overall cruising experience for everyone is the right formula, since gays and lesbians on a mainstream cruise want quality, and they want to be treated like everyone else.

Cruising with the Joneses

Do you love having almost limitless choices in ships, itineraries, dates and prices? If you're traveling as a gay or lesbian couple, do you not mind having heterosexual strangers ask you about your relationship (No, we're not college roommates ... anymore!)? Then you'll probably join the legions of fellow gays and lesbians who love mainstream cruising.

What are some of the best ships for the first-time gay cruiser? NCL's new Pride of America and Pride of Aloha, which sail through the romantic (and gay-friendly) Hawaiian islands year-round, are great choices. Celebrity Cruises and Carnival, which offer big ship itineraries ranging from the Caribbean to Alaska to Europe, also get top marks.

In the luxury spectrum, RSSC's Paul Gauguin, a six-star luxury ship, plys the spectacular islands of French Polynesia, mixing true pampering and gourmet cuisine with a cosmopolitan French flair. The smaller sailing ships of Windstar and Star Clippers, with more exotic destinations like Thailand and Croatia, appeal to the more adventurous and active gay traveler. If your budget allows, splurge on an even more upscale cruise line, because frequent gay cruisers report that the sophisticated fellow guests on lines like Crystal, Silversea, Cunard, Yachts of Seabourn, and Sea Dream Yacht Club tend to be very worldly when it comes to matters of sexual orientation.

Gay All the Way

If you're of the "I want to be able to hold my lover's hand and kiss openly" mindset or simply just want to party all nights consider splurging on an all-gay charter. The biggest players in this huge market are: Atlantis, R.S.V.P. and Olivia (geared specifically towards lesbians), while Rosie O'Donnell's R Family Vacations offers chartered voyages aimed at gay families. These companies do much more than charter some of the newest ships from lines like Princess, Royal Caribbean, Celebrity or Holland America and pack them with gay boys and girls in the mood for fun and love. They provide an comprehensive and total gay entertainment and lifestyle experience from beginning to end, with special entertainment and dance parties, onboard seminars on gay-specific topics, and instant camaraderie with hundreds or thousands of like-minded individuals.

In fact, many gays and lesbians who don't live in a big metropolis like New York or San Francisco look forward to their one-week escape as perhaps their only opportunity to hold hands, kiss, dance and flirt openly in public with same-sex partners, without any fear or ostracism. Perhaps the biggest surprise among those who haven't taken an all-gay cruise is that the average guest is not a 30-year-old party boy or girl; many older couples and friends book these cruises, leading to a diverse mix of passengers. Because of their popularity and limited number of sailings, many all-gay charters sell out well in advance; book at least six months ahead of time to guarantee your spot.

Itinerary Insights

There are nearly as many favorite itineraries for gay and lesbian passengers as there are gay cruisers themselves. With the exception of Jamaica or Grand Cayman, where the climate is less tolerant (and downright homophobic in some instances), gay and lesbian passengers enjoy almost every port and ship available today.

Some specific itineraries with a high gay and lesbian following include glamorous Mediterranean summer cruises that hit gay hot spots like Mykonos or Ibiza, and cultural capitals like Rome, Venice and Barcelona. It may be a stereotype, but pulsating nightlife and fine gourmet dining and arts attractions do hold a lot of appeal for many gay and lesbian cruisers. The Caribbean is perennially popular, especially the very gay-friendly ABC islands (Aruba, Bonaire and Curacao), as well as the French-speaking outposts like Martinique and Guadalupe.

Crave variety? Many gays love the quick Bahamas of Mexican Riviera getaway or splendors of New England in the fall, especially on the more upscale Regent and Crystal ships. Gay and lesbian fans of unspoiled nature and dramatic scenery are in love with Alaska (as everyone is), and some of the smaller ships with eco-tourist itineraries to the Galapagos and Antarctica such as Celebrity Xpedition attract substantial numbers of gay clients. Brazil and Argentina appeal to many gay cruisers on Latin American voyages by Holland America and other lines, who go to revel in sexy Carnival samba, relaxed beach culture, and cosmopolitan cities like Rio de Janeiro and Buenos Aires.

Family Matters

The thousands of lesbians and gays with children have become a sought-after cruising demographic in their own right. Last year, Rosie O'Donnell's R Family Vacations became the first gay travel company to charter an entire ship (the upscale Norwegian Dawn) for gay and lesbian parents and their tykes, tweens and teens—although everyone was welcome. The success of the groundbreaking cruise from New York to the Bahamas last year led to an equally successful New England cruise from New York in July of 2005.

Single male and female parents, biological parents with their adoring partners, those who used surrogates or adopted their kids the bewildering array of parental units onboard these Norwegian Dawn sailings was just one indication that gay and lesbian cruising has truly gone mainstream. Next year, R Family Vacations will head west for a first-ever gay family cruise in Alaska. Of course, many gays and lesbians join cruises with their other families (Moms, Dads, siblings and assorted in-laws).

Table for Two

One of the biggest, albeit unfounded, fears of gays and lesbians who've never cruised before is seating arrangements at dinner. Some of the more discreet couples or gay and lesbian groups don't want to be probed on sensitive topics like politics or their personal relationships (these days, politics is probably the touchier subject!).

In response, most cruise lines have moved to open seating, pioneered by NCL's Freestyle Cruising and followed by Princess' Personal Choice Dining, with no set dinner time (except in the reservations-required restaurants), and mostly casual dress. (Exceptions, alas, include Carnival, Royal Caribbean and Celebrity, which still feature set-seating, set-timeframe dining.)

Luxury lines such as Crystal, RSSC, Silversea and Seabourn long ago embraced the "eat when you want, with whom you wish" trend. So, gay and lesbian dining adventures on the high seas are rarely as fraught with peril as one would think.

Singled Out

Gay and lesbians singletons who definitely want to connect and socialize with other gays onboard their cruise should seek out the larger ships that are known for regularly hosting FOD meetings, such as Princess, NCL and Carnival. Of course, there are gay and lesbian cruise staff onboard every larger ship, so if your "gaydar" is particularly honed, you shouldn't be shy asking them if there are any gay groups onboard or gay social events that you can join in. And, of course, Cruise Critic's Gay and Lesbian Cruisers board (located under Special Interest Cruising) is an excellent starting point to post a "Roll Call" announcement for an upcoming cruise. You'll probably make many new "virtual" gay and lesbian friends before you even step onboard.

Ultimately, the absolute best way to decide on which ship and itinerary is best for you is to talk to experienced gay and lesbian cruisers (or connect via the message boards on Cruise Critic), as past passengers spread the word quickly about which lines are the most gay-friendly, have the most comfortable staff and crew, and offer the most unique experiences. No matter what their level of acknowledgement of the importance of the gay market (mostly high), all cruise lines know that the most powerful weapon they have to attract more gay passengers is simply positive word of mouth.

You should also talk to a travel agency that focuses on the gay market and sends many clients on cruises, both mainstream ships and gay charters; these specialized agencies are an invaluable entree into the life aquatic for the legions of enthusiastic gay and lesbian cruisers.